Book Review (One and the Same)

One and the Same by Abigail Pogrebin

This book was a gift from my husband's twin brother and his wife last Christmas.  It was ironic they had given this to us as I heard the book review on NPR (the same book review my sister-in-law had heard) and had added it to my running list of books to read.  The author tells the story of experiences of numerous different twins and how their relationship changed throughout their lives.  For me, this book helped me understand the unspoken bond that Moe has with his brother.  A bond that is so strong and true that it can't be compared to any other relationship that I've encountered.  The book also addressed what it is like to be in a relationship with an identical twin.  My response would be wonderful, 99% of the time.  Just like anything else in this world, it comes with its fair share of challenges.  It was interesting to read what challenges others have experienced.  Even if you aren't a twin, married to a twin, or know a twin, I would recommend this book.  It is a series of short stories tied together by the authors comments.  It is a wonderful and thought provoking read. 

Note:  Please take a look at the cover of the book.  Moe and his brother used to be dressed everyday in blue and red so that everyone could tell them apart.  As I was writing this blog, I looked up and saw this picture that we framed in our kitchen.  It cracked me up.  They were happy chubby kids :) Can you guess which one is Moe?!

Source:  Jan Isay Book Review on Amazon

Abigail Pogrebin’s One and the Same: My Life As an Identical Twin and What I’ve Learned about Everyone’s Struggle to be Singular is a terrific travelogue through the world of identical--and fraternal--twins. She tells the story of the twin experience from the inside out, and shines a smart and loving light on this special relationship. Pogrebin brings heart and brains to her own experiences with her twin sister Robin, from infancy to a ripe maturity. And she has done prodigious amount of research, speaking with scores of twins--together and apart--and interviewing dozens of experts on all aspects of the twin experience.


Modern medicine has given us more multiple births every year, and so more and more people are parents of twins. When we see so many pairs of kids riding in their double strollers, we ask ourselves so many questions.


What’s going on in their little minds as they grow up together? Do they feel like they’re one person, or two? How do they relate to other kids in school? Do they feel that it’s a privilege to be a twin, or do they find it a burden? What about the social expectations that they should love each other best and should be ever so close? How do they separate enough to get married and form their own families? What is the mistake parents most often make in rearing their twins?

Abigail Pogrebin has answers to these questions and many more. In each chapter she writes a bit about her and her sister, and then brings in testimony from other twins and the experts. In addition, this book is valuable because of the light it sheds on all sibling relationships by describing the closest pairs we know. Even people without a twin in their lives--and most of us are fascinated by twins--will benefit from reading One and the Same.


If you’re considering IVF, if you are a twin or have a twin, or are married to a twin, or dating one, this book is a necessity. In addition, Abigail Pogrebin’s family is one of those singularly successful and loving ones, and basking in the warmth of her life is a pleasure.--Jane Isay